Seriously--if you say something like this in public, it's going on somebody's blog.

An elderly woman came into the store with a box containing a family of dolls she had just bought from us. "I accidentally bought the Asian family. I meant to buy the normal one." It seemed like trying to change her ways would have been a futile pursuit.

Dalek

I dreamed I went to Big Monkey Comics in Georgetown (it looked nothing like it actually looks) and unexpectedly found a Dalek action figure from the Doctor Who line. It talked ("Exterminate! Exterminate!"). I didn't have any money but was determined to obtain it somehow. I could tell the second I put it down someone else would buy it. I tried to get them to hold it until the next day. I'm not sure what happened, but somehow I got it. I went somewhere where there were a bunch of people hanging around. My sister was there, so I opened the figure to show it to her. Once opened, I found that it was on a base with a bunch of grass. Snakes and rats were included that fit on its head. Its lower half was segmented and articulated like they were legs. When I showed it to my sister, I looked at it again, and it looked nothing like a Dalek. It looked like an old man with six arms wearing a long robe. It still said "exterminate" though.

I want this.

secret past revealed

I dreamed I found out my girlfriend was a famous dancer in a bunch of old black and white movies. I found a bunch of magazine articles, archival footage, and documentaries on it. During the 1970's she gained a bunch of weight and dated some guy who reminded me of Robert Crumb. She was embarrassed by her past and didn't want to discuss it with me. I also found out her old boyfriend broke up with her at some point and went on to become Boba Fett. I got in an elevator. When the door opened, the old boyfriend was standing there. He looked really young and nothing like the pictures I had seen, but it was him. I said "Hey, Boba Fett!" He insisted that he wasn't Boba Fett. I chased him through different locations hassling him about it until I got bored with it. I decided to go to church. I turned around, and he was standing in front of the bench directly behind me. I told him to leave me alone. He kept bothering me. He stole my Bible to annoy me. Later I went to work. We had to gift-wrap a car and ship it to a customer. A real car. Boba Fett showed up, but I figured that must mean he was a coworker; I'd have to leave him alone at work. We decided it would make more sense to drive the car to the customer rather than ship it, so we all got in and drove off.

Haven't seen this kink before...

I dreamed I met a girl who said she only has sex in a tepee and must play soccer during the act.

Well then...

Today the coppers showed up at my door. Apparently my old clunky computer that I rarely used picked up a virus that makes the modem dial 911. Time to take it out back and put it out of its misery. I'll miss the dual CD player for burning CDs feature.

It's against the creator's wishes.

Dolphins singing the Batman theme?

alcohol

I dreamed my girlfriend asked me to wait at home for a delivery of alcholic beverages for her. I was lying around in bed. Someone knocked at the outside door. A woman handed me a heavy box. I took it inside and closed the door. Later another woman came to the door with another box. She told me she found out that her competitor found out Kit was buying the drinks and wanted to outbid. I realized I probably took the wrong beverages, but I didn't pay the first woman or anything. I didn't tell the current woman about encountering her competitor. I now had extra alcohol. I looked inside one of the boxes and found chocolate. I figured Kit wouldn't mind if I helped myself to some. I ate a bit. I wasn't interested in the drinks. She got home, and I told her everything. She wasn't concerned about any of it.

dvd set with stowaway

I dreamed I was at my boss' house in a garage (his house is actually nothing like it appeared in the dream). I was going through some old junk, and I found a neat dvd box set. The package was a building that opened. Half of the building was Wayne Manor, and the other half was the Daily Planet building. They were scaled for action figure play. Inside were the complete Batman and Superman animated series (the Bruce Timm versions) in slipcased dvd sets. I had to own this somehow. One of my co-workers warned me about something inside the building. A huge black widow spider jumped out and scared me to death.

I get overtime pay for this, right?

I dreamed I was at work running around in circles trying to sell them things. I kept seeing my boss peeking at me from behing fixtures, and it made me nervous, so I talked louder and faster. I lost my voice and kept trying to sell things with no voice.

Wish I got paid for working in my dreams.

and another talking animal dream

I dreamed Kit and I were at a flea market. We split up to explore. I saw a farmer walk by with three animals. I only remember that one of them was a lamb. He wandered off. I watched the lamb sneak up to a table that had candy, crackers, and other snacks for customers on a big plate. He started eating them. I walked up to him, and he said "hello". I asked him why he could talk, and he said "didn't you know that sheep can talk?" I ran to find Kit. I showed her the lamb, and we had a really silly conversation with it.

another toilet fish dream

Once again I dreamed about keeping fish in a toilet instead of an aquarium. This time, I put my algae eater fish and some plants in the toilet.

letting a complaint slip out

Getting a little tired of listening to parents who are convinced their kid's Reed Richards. Let the poor kid enjoy childhood.

technology

I dreamed I worked in a toy store where we had a scanner we could use to scan items and determine the customer's intent. The scanner could tell us if a customer was going to steal the item or pay for it. A customer was going to steal an item, and I pulled out a razor blade and snapped the blade in half. It came to my attention that there was a Borders store a couple stores down from us, but I had never seen it. I went out to look for it but could not find it.

creepy admirer

I dreamed I was taking a college course with a professor who was friendly in a creepy way. He handed out a syllabus that looked like a Sunday school art project. Everyone got a syllabus on green construction paper with things like pom-poms, pipe cleaners, and plastic eyeballs glued on them. I met a guy who was a lot younger than me who begged me to come to his house and hang out with him. I got there, and his place was filthy and cluttered with lots of comic book and super hero crap. He was giddy and seemed like I was his hero or something, but he seemed to have some kind of sinister intent. I didn't trust him.