LmKmp-[Blg]

This happened.

2011-04-12T18:09:00.001-07:00

Customer (producing two completely different types of hair barrettes): This one says it's $2.99, and the other one says it's $4.50. Is that correct?

Me (after scanning both items): Yes.

Customer: I'm buying a lot of stuff. Could you just make that one $2.99 also, and I'll buy both of them?

Me: ...no.

Customer: But I'm buying a lot of stuff.

(She was buying two items that came to $30.)

Customer: I think because of that, they should both be $2.99.

Me: That's... not how these joints operate. I can't haggle. Just because you think something should be a different price doesn't make it so.

Customer: But I'm buying a lot of stuff here.

Me: You're... buying two items... and together, they're thirty bucks... that's not exactly a lot. And, as I said, I can't just haggle. And you're talking about like two dollars here.

Customer: Are you the manager?

Me: ...yes. I'm the manager.

Customer: Well, you are being really inflexible. I just won't take either of the barrettes.

Me: Uh... okay. Er..., $31.79, please?

MY BRAIN WENT PAST FURIOUS AND SETTLED AT AMUSED. I SHOULD ACTUALLY START CARRYING MEDALS AROUND TO HAND OUT FOR THIS NONSENSE. I CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER IF SHE'S AT HOME RIGHT NOW YELLING ABOUT THIS AT WHATEVER POOR HUSBAND SHE HAS.

(Yeah, I'm one to talk--I'm yelling about it at the internet.)

inside

2010-03-29T20:48:00.001-07:00

Marvel's Star Trek had some very silly covers.

2009-06-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

I've been reading the recently published Star Trek Omnibus Volume 1 from IDW. It reprints the entire Star Trek series from Marvel that was released right after Star Trek: The Motion Picture (the first three issues are omitted--they were an adaptation of the movie itself and will be collected in a movie adaptation omnibus that will make up Volume 2). In those days when Marvel picked up a license to make comic versions of a Hollywood property, the results were often rather lame. A lot of it could be elements of transfering a property from one medium to another--just as sending a comic to a movie theater can be disastrous if one doesn't know what one is doing the same is true of moving a movie/television property to the comic medium. It isn't always bad, and comics companies have learned better ways to do this. But when Marvel did it, it was usually particularly bad (example--although not technically a Hollywood property as such--Marvel's Godzilla series). When Marvel regained Star Trek rights in the 1990's this still happened:

Overall this volume was not as bad as I expected. The artwork is a bit awkward in places. In particular, the Enterprise is drawn with its nacelles at awkward angles. The refitted Enterprise had made only one appearance, the movie, at this point, but the basic geometry of it was the same. Through much of the book the stories actually felt like Star Trek, which was a nice surprise. Towards the end of the run the covers became increasingly bizarre. Here are my favorites. I have no idea if anyone else finds them as funny as I do.

I have nothing to say about this one.

There were two "Captain Kirk's crazy" covers in a row for unrelated stories.

How many comics series brag about being canceled? This last issue boldly proclaims itself to be a collectors' item.

Okay.

2009-06-14T20:25:00.001-07:00

Your results:
You are Will Riker

Will Riker		80%
James T. Kirk (Captain)		80%
Jean-Luc Picard		75%
Worf		55%
Chekov		45%
Geordi LaForge		35%
Beverly Crusher		30%
Mr. Scott		30%
Deanna Troi		25%
Uhura		25%
Data		24%
Spock		22%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt)		15%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)		5%
Mr. Sulu		0%

At times you are self-centered
but you have many friends.
You love many women, but the right
woman could get you to settle down.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

2009-06-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

Yes, this movie exists. I picked it up at Midtown Comics last time I was in New York and just got around to watching it. I love messed up Santa movies, and this is possibly the worst I've ever encountered. It involves Santa's sleigh being stuck in the sand in Florida days before Christmas Eve and summoning a bunch of children who turn up with a strange assortment of useless farm animals and furries who try to help free the sleigh; the movie runs out of steam so fast it actually shoehorns a whole different movie, a Thumbelina adaptation by the same filmmakers, into the middle of the movie. When the movie gets around to returning to the Santa premise it climaxes in a person in a bunny costume driving a car full of singing children. I had to suffer through this, and I'm a sore loser. I'm taking all of you down with me. Behold:

It actually makes the 1959 Santa Claus feel like a good movie. Quick clip for wusses:

Or just watch the whole thing from the beginning:

I guess it's really a bit early for all this Santa talk.

The Extremely Slow Murderer with Inefficient Weapon

2009-06-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

Untitled from Nik on Vimeo.

Whisk: an entirely fictional William Shatner endorsement

2009-06-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

With William Shatner's absence from the new Star Trek movie (which makes perfect sense continuity-wise) I thought perhaps reposting this old thing would appease, to some degree, any huge Shatner fans out of the three people who are reading. I wrote this script in a college class on writing advertisements for radio. This assignment was to write a 60 second radio advertisement for a non-existant razor blade company that made their blades from whatever material it is from which spacecraft are made. Naturally there was only one man alive who could effectively endorse such a product. The resulting script, posted below, kind of ticked off the professor. But he was so ticked off he angrily read the script to the class, and the room erupted with laughter. I do hope that was not my life's greatest achievement. So here's the script:

Client: Whisk razor blades
Description: 60 sec humorous
Airdate: 15 June 1999
Author: Liam Kemp
Title: Shatner endorsement

ANNCR: For Whisk razor blades here's William Shatner.

SHATNER: Hello I'm William Shatner. Most of you remember me as Captain James T. Kirk of Star Trek fame. Over the years I've been asked by thousands of fans how I managed to bed at least one alien chick in just about every episode of Star Trek and get away with this blatant disregard for the Prime Directive. Well my answer is Whisk razor blades. They're new right now but by the twenty-third century everyone will use them. If they work such wonders on future alien women just imagine the success you could be having right now on earth with blades made of ceramic used for America's space exploration program. They might cost a little more than lower quality blades but it's worth it. Listen to me-

ADMIRAL: (BEEPING SOUND CUTS SHATNER OFF IN MID-SENTENCE... FEMALE VOICE) This is Starfleet Command. We've another child support claim from the planet Orion....hey how did you get such a close smooth shave?

SHATNER: Um, with Whisk space-age razor blades.

ADMIRAL: What was I saying?

SHATNER: Just to buy whisk razor blades and the future will be yours now.

ADMIRAL: And they're great for women too.

...or be somebody's fool.

2009-05-10T17:37:00.000-07:00

Hurm...

2009-03-15T17:14:00.001-07:00

Rorshach's Journal March 15, 2008

Annoying couple on Metro.
Woman keeps telling man dumb stories.
Man laughs as loud as he can.
Turn up volume on audio device.
Annoying laughter still heard.
Scum probably thinks he'll get to do filthy things to woman if he laughs enough.
They get up to leave. Probably to fornicate.
Guy is wearing Watchmen shirt.
World is getting strange.

This clip again.

2009-03-07T17:01:00.001-08:00

Uh...

2009-03-05T18:36:00.001-08:00

Who's Afraid of Diana Prince?

2009-03-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

There are many things YouTube has made readily available that I'd given up on ever finding years ago. The 1960's failed Wonder Woman TV pilot is one of them.

fish dream

2009-02-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

I dreamed my high school arch rival showed up at my place. I was going to do all the horrible things I always wanted to do to the jerk and throw him out, but I realized he had dropped a tiny biologist in my fish tank. He was about an inch tall. He showed my fish how to reproduce at a much faster rate. More and more fish started popping up and maturing within minutes, and there wasn't enough space for them. I felt I had no choice but to grab handfuls of them and toss them in the trash. After doing this for a bit I noticed there didn't seem to be anymore fish. I had also thrown the biologist in the trash. I started putting fish back in the tank, and they seemed fine. I wanted to find the biologist so I could get him to make the fish quit reproducing. I was afraid to throw the high school rival out without knowing what happened to the biologist.

dream: fox hunt

2009-01-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

I dreamed I was in the front yard of my childhood home at night. My girlfriend was sitting in the ditch. She was hungry. There was a fox in the yard. Myself, a lion, and a bear along with its cubs were all very interested in this fox. We kept our distance from each other for awhile and simply watched each other while keeping an eye on the fox. Then we all ran for it. We ran a much further distance than there was actual yard, but everything seemed to maintain its dimensions in spite of the distance we were covering. There was a drum beating. The lion killed the fox, and the rest of us stopped. The lion didn't even eat the fox. It just backed away. The lion and I stared at each other for a bit.

Happy Life Day, nerfherders.

2008-12-24T11:14:00.001-08:00

on corndogs

2008-12-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

Much has happened since my last post. Yet this is what drives me back to the blog. We went to South Carolina in late October to visit the ocean, and I passed up an opportunity to partake in a footlong one of these:

a corndog in its natural habitat

Over the weekend I remembered my missed opportunity and figured I'd set things right by picking some up at the supermarket. I went the day after Thanksgiving and found... that there were none. Was there a Thanksgiving rush on the things? Did they have some weird black Friday special on them? I went home frustrated with inexplicable foods I picked up while hunting for the elusive corndogs. A couple of days later I walked past a different supermarket and decided to look there. Nothing. The same thing happened on a third trip. I found some vegetarian monstrosity that called itself a corndog and some of those sausages in pancakey corndog clothing. Seriously, what is going on here? Do corndogs go out of season? Was there some kind of "made in China" corndog recall? Or am I in a dumb dream, a Twilight Zone episode or Encyclopedia Brown novel where all the corndogs went away and no one noticed except for me? This is killing me. I just want a bloody corndog here.

Look upon this post and let your virginity be renewed!

2008-11-01T21:55:00.000-07:00

Wow. You still looked.

I spent this Halloween as the Tenth Doctor. I asked my girlfriend to take a couple of pictures, and she ended up taking several, which set off my obsessive-compulsive "must post the complete documentation" tick. So here are quite a few pictures.

a moment of action figure nerdery

2008-11-01T01:42:00.000-07:00

It has just been brought to my attention that Matt Tracker from M.A.S.K. is being re-released... as part of the G.I. Joe line. Isn't that weird? The M.A.S.K. figures were on a different scale. I guess they're fixing him, upping his articulation, and inviting him into the Pit.

http://www.bigbadtoystore.com/bbts/product.aspx?product=HAS15872&mode=retail&picture=out

journal

2008-11-01T01:32:00.000-07:00

Saw Rorshach on Metro tonight.

Regret not taking picture.

SPX documentation

2008-10-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

This turned up on YouTube (Thanks for spotting it, Donna!). At SPX, Jane Irwin of vogelein.com had a neat pair of steampunk goggles lying on her table along with some jewelry she had made (not to mention her comics). I tried to buy them from her, and it turns out she just wanted people to try them on and be photographed in them. I'm in there as well as some of my friends. There are some interesting characters within.

Some Ghouls Wander By Mistake

2008-10-17T18:57:00.001-07:00

My friend Myke Amend is finally releasing the first issue of his comic. It's up for pre-sale on his website http://www.mykeamend.com . It can be previewed at http://www.someghoulswanderbymistake.com . Very funny stuff, have a look.

Why did I dream this?

2008-10-09T19:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed Tony Danza was interviewing a mosquito.

The mosquito was making a rather convincing argument that his kind aren't all that bad and that they wanted a friendly relationship with their victims. He was inserting his blood-sucking parts into someone as he was interviewed.

Halloween preview

2008-09-03T11:54:00.001-07:00

I just need to figure out my hair now. Other than that I'm pretty much set. Sorry about the shortcomings of cell phone photographs.

I need to see a shrink after witnessing this.

2008-09-03T11:04:00.001-07:00

I think I've officially run out of things to watch on YouTube.

forgive me for my "buy my stuff" posting; just keeping everyone in the loop

2008-07-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

Here is a rundown of my current eBay postings.

Two Face from Batman: The Animated Series (ends in three hours)

Marvel Legends Iron Man blue stealth armor variant

Marvel Legends Iron Man gold and red variant

Spider-Man Classics Scarlet Spider variant

Spider-Man Classics Spider-Man 2099 variant

Iron Man movie novelization by Peter David (2 available)

Iron Man Nerf gun

Wonder Woman WB Studio Stores exclusive ornament from 2000

Brandon Lee as The Crow headknocker/bobblehead

Batman: The Animated Series TRU exclusive figure set including Batman, Two Face, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn

Batman vs.
The Joker action figure set, Wal-Mart exclusive

Batman & Robin action figure set, Wal-Mart exclusive

Batman & Superman action figure set, Wal-Mart exclusive

Now here's a link to the whole mess:

http://shop. ebay. com/merchant/saintofthepit_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZQQ_mdoZ

my recent activities

2008-07-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted much lately aside from "please buy my things" posts, so here's a bit of what's been going on. My on and off depression thing has been rearing its ugly head lately, and I decided to take an unplanned vacation to visit family and old friends in Kentucky. My dad visited here a couple of weeks back for an event he wanted to attend, and I hadn't taken any time off to see him, so I went back with him and stayed for close to a week. I saw my nephew for the first time, I reconnected with many friends I haven't seen in years, I bought some original art I'm rather shocked didn't sell on eBay from my friend Hayley Young, I found a Milli Vanilli cd and bought it because if felt like the right thing to do (I am amused by spectacular failures for some reason and collect examples of them), and I shipped about twelve boxes of collectibles from my storage facility to post on eBay and try to turn into money. I hope most of it sells. Otherwise I might find myself being pursued around the apartment by an attractive female wielding either a rolling pin or a frying pan. I also shipped myself 200 or 300 copies of Fatalysia #1 that had been floating around in the ether since I was almost out of them. I spent most of today doing eBay-related things such as shipping, posting, photographing, and hunting down prices. For the first day of doing this as an all day thing, it was sort of fun. I hope it stays that way and actually generates a little money (says the guy who just fought off hundreds of nerds for an SDCC exclusive Doctor Who figure). Anyway, just the feeling of being productive seems to take a bite out of the depression, just like seeing friends you've had since second grade and lots of cats, which are hard to come by here. I started poking through my friends lists today on LiveJournal and am afraid I might not be able to make it back to where I temporarily dropped off. My apologies. How is everyone?

It feels so weird having to go back to work and having life all scheduled away after being totally free from it all for a week.

SDCC request post script

2008-07-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

Recently I posted a request for a favor from anyone I know who might happen to be attending the San Diego Comic Con. A thread of what I was after can be read here. Anyway, earlier today I learned that as soon as SDCC opened its doors, http://whona.com was going to go live with some of these exclusives, and they had a counter on the website counting down to 6 pm Pacific time. I was in, so I kept an eye on it, and as soon as it counted down to 6, I tried reloading the page, and I guess every Doctor Who nerd in the world was doing the same thing I was doing because it kept crashing. I did manage to get what I wanted if my order doesn't get all screwed up as a result of all the craziness, so if anyone was trying to hook me up (I know one friend was trying to find someone on my behalf), I'm all set now, and thank you anyway.

On a side note, this must be the manliest action figure I've ever seen:

eBay: Sandman, Batman, Two Face, Iron Man, Spider-Man items

2008-07-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

I have these items posted on eBay:

Neil Gaiman's Sandman mini statue

Spider-Man fiber optic lamp

Batman Begins figure

Batman: The Animated Series Two Face figure

Iron Man movie novelization by Peter David (2 available)

Iron Man Nerf gun

Later I might post a Vertigo Comics tarot deck (Sandman, Hellblazer, etc.) and an Alleister Crowley tarot deck.

Here's my page: http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/saintofthepit_W0QQ_nkwZQQ_armrsZ1QQ_fromZQQ_mdoZ

time sensitive offer from artist Myke Amend

2008-07-20T20:25:00.001-07:00

My friend Myke Amend is offering an incentive on orders between now and July 30th. I thought I'd pass it along. From one of his posts:

"Any $30 or more purchase between now and July 30th, made from ettadiem.etsy.com, or themiskatonicarchive.com, or mykeamend.com - gets you one of these hand doodled-upon issues, shipping in Late August. If you beat me to the presses, you may even get your name on the inside cover (a very heartfet thank you, seriously). "

BG visit & stupid work stuff

2008-07-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

It's been a hectic few days. My dad came into town and extended an offer to drive me to Kentucky to visit my family. I haven't been there in two years, and my sister just had a baby I haven't seen in person, so I'm taking him up on it. And I have several friends I haven't seen in years. And my cats. I was planning to do it later in the summer, but too many windows opened up at once for me to wait. I managed to get people to cover for me at work, so everything worked out there. I came in early Friday to call some book companies to try to catch up some things before I left, and as soon as the company phone was in my hand, before I could actually dial it, it rang so I could waste times on incoming calls like this:

Idiot: Is this a toy store?

Me: Yes.

Idiot: So you sell toys and games and stuff, right?

Me: That's the idea. Toy store.

Idiot: My friend needs a dildo for his girlfriend. Can you hook me up?

Me: Very nice. A comedian. (thought balloon: This idiot's being immortalized on the blog.)

After I was done with this kid who thought he was one of the Jerky Boys, I had two more incoming calls before I could successfully dial out, and I only managed to make one of those calls due to the time-wasting calls, making my coming in early very counter-productive.. I caught up some more later in the day, but I will have more piled-up work waiting for me when I get back than I had hoped.

Anyway, if anyone in BG is reading, I'll be arriving probably late Sunday. I'll be leaving sometime Friday. If you want to meet up, call me. If you don't have my number, email me or comment here. I'll have a computer with me but don't know what my internet status will be.

geeky collectibles posted on eBay

2008-07-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

I am in dire need of money, so I'm posting some of my collectibles on eBay. So far, I've posted a Hellboy mask, two Wonder Woman statues, and a boxed set of Nightmare Before Christmas figurines. I will probably later be posting a statue of Vampira, a working Golden Age Green Lantern power battery, a boxed set of Sandman figurines with all the members of the Endless, and a boxed set of characters from The Dreaming. I might also post a few action figures. This stuff's eating up space and could be paying bills. But it is cool stuff, nonetheless.

This should link up to all my auctions:

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQfgtpZ1QQfrppZ25QQsassZsaintofthepit

Question for friends who understand computers and their ways.

2008-07-05T18:10:00.000-07:00

I have a fairly new computer, and an idiotic feature I've never encountered before and can't seem to shut off from the control panel is this mouse that clicks on links if you just run it over them without actually clicking them. Someone please tell me they know how to shoot that feature.

Is anyone I know going to San Diego Comic Con?

2008-07-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

If so, I have a favor to ask, if that's not terribly obnoxious. Please message me or comment, if you don't mind. Thanks!

Is there any valid reason to take the family dog to the fireworks on the National Mall?

2008-07-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

We went to the fireworks event on the Mall last night (or rather we stayed on the outskirts of the event behind some trees to avoid as many bumbling tourists as possible), and I had trouble even paying attention to the fireworks because some genius tourist had the brilliant idea to bring her poor dog along. Keep in mind that these fireworks are extremely loud. When the event started, this poor creature was certain he was in the middle of the Blitz. He was terrified, jumping in all directions screaming, and his owner wouldn't pet him, hold him, or comfort him in any way. I was about to grab him and take a shot at it myself. In fact she seemed annoyed by him. Some people maybe shouldn't be allowed to have pets.

more auctions from paintedaugusta.deviantart.com

2008-07-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

My friend artist Hayley Young has posted two new auctions on eBay, so I'm posting them here so some more people are aware of them (I hear one of my friends actually won her last auction, so I guess it really does help!).

Here's her blog post on the auctions. They end July 7.

Three Sisters: A Pieta acrylic painting on board

Ricky; live male charcoal life drawing on archival paper

These images are copyright Hayley Young.

Oh--we got a review!

2008-07-02T18:03:00.000-07:00

http://indycomicreview.com contacted me and directed my attention to this. I'm pasting the whole thing here because it sounds like the site's demise is on the horizon.

Fatalysia #1

Average Rating:

Year: 2006
Writer: Liam Kemp
Artist: U!
Letterer: Chris Tabor
Publisher: Self-Published
Website: http://www.fatalysia.com
Genre: Fantasy
Description of book: From the Web-site: "'Fatalysia' follows the adventures of Susan and Christan, best friends who live in a small village in an imaginary time. Susan escapes her abusive home life by secretly spending time with a scarecrow she meets on the other side of the forest."
Price: $3.00

Review: Fatalysia opens with a flashback that has more to do with dreams than actual events. The remainder of the comic seems to follow this pattern, one foot on either side of the line dividing the concrete from the more surreal.

The story threatens to be a retread of the "Beauty and the Beast" tale with more of a tragic edge, but this opening leaves the reader with more questions than definitions. That is likely the title's biggest asset right now, although it is disappointing that it has only moved on to its second issue as of this writing.

Bottom line, there are hints in Issue #1 that this is a project that takes more traditional ideas and, courtesy of a unique meeting of minds, mashes them together in a new and (hopefully) less than predictable way.

Overall: 4 stars.

Alex Haas

Review Legend

Ratings
	Wouldn't give to my worst enemy!
	The best I can say is that it wasn't horrible.
	Decent book, could be talked into reading the next issue.
	Enjoyed the book, wouldn't mind spending some more time with the characters
	I'll be sitting at the comic store waiting for the next issue!!

Catherine Tate and David Tennant (before she was cast on Doctor Who)

2008-06-29T17:41:00.001-07:00

paintedaugusta.deviantart.com

2008-06-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

An old friend of mine who has been creating art for at least as long as I've known her (going back to high school) is, like most of us, in need of some money. She's decided to start trying to sell some of her art, and I said I'd pass her links along to my friends. Much of her work can be seen here. She also has a painting she calls Ladybug Parkinglot on eBay. It's ending late Friday, and the price is surprisningly low at the moment. So eyeball her work, give her feedback, and feel free to buy things from her.

In other news... silly photographs.

2008-06-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

We went to a grocery a couple of nights ago, and as I was determined to refrain from engaging in any capitalism due to my low funds, I just bumbled around the store to kill time. I took some odd pictures that make me wonder how much silliness I miss when I'm busy gathering food.

They look... sort of content. Are they on meds preventing any unfortunate incidents, or is an unfortunate incident about to manifest... right... about... now?

Oh... that's what diabetics need: chap stick. Lots of chap stick.

And lozenges will answer the question of whether or not you are diabetic. Who knew?

"I wrote it in my diary so I wouldn't have to remember!" -Doctor Henry Jones, Sr.

2008-06-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try to find a walk-in repair place that gets along with the warranty on my computer today. First I have to pick it up at the shop where I left it, which might be a hassle since they aren't actually there most of the time. I wonder if they aren't really a computer repair shop at all, and they're really a front for something like that antique shop in the Friday the 13th TV series. Maybe the employees are really out hunting down cursed mother boards and locking them up in the shop at the end of the day.

I realized I'd done a bit of writing on the computer, which was one of the main purposes of my having the computer. Since I had no idea it would be an ex-computer within a month, I hadn't backed up anything. Often when I lose things I wrote I can actually reconstruct them from memory, sometimes resulting in the writing being better the second time around. But this time, I have no idea what I wrote. I just parked it all on the computer, and I have no recollection of what it all was. So unless there's some data recovery whammy they can put on the computer, I might have lost a bit to Lucien's library. Lesson learned.

the events of the last week or so

2008-06-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight the girlfriend and I attended a Puppini Sisters concert in Virginia. It was a nice show, but it was at a venue that waves ridiculously overpriced cafeteria food at you (and having been at work all day and rather famished, I was a total sucker), resulting in a $70 tab for a personal sized pizza, a hot fudge brownie sundae, three cokes, some bread pudding, and a plate of gumbo between the two of us. I don't mean to sound like a cheapskate, but I'm not exactly a lawyer or the practitioner of some other stereotypically highly paid trade, and I feel that for $70, there should have been naked Martian waitresses or something (maybe those green slave girls from Orion on Star Trek?) and much better food than something I could get at a school cafeteria. And I am so broke. I had a shiny new computer that I've only owned for one month, and the hard drive vomited and died right on the one month mark. At first the web browsers quit loading pages, and the prompts told me to contact my internet service provider. I did so, and I got to go through the utterly useless hour-long tech support call they give everybody. In the middle of the call, I saw on my phone that my friend Myke Amend was trying to call me. That kind of scared me because he's a busy guy, he doesn't call often, and when he calls the result is usually some kind of profound conversation. However, I was already so freaked out, I was certain he was calling to tell me that my computer was sending furry porn to everyone I know or something. Fortunately I later learned that he was working on a print job and had some questions about my printer experiences. Anyway, the warranty might cover the hard drive replacement (I'm figuring that out tomorrow), but for now, I'm at the mercy of dial-up and hogging said girlfriend's computer. But the way things tend to go, I expect this to cost me a bunch of money anyway. When I saw the bill for the food, it made me think of all the dumb places my money ends up and say "Gee, I wonder why I'm so broke?" It took forever to save up for the computer, which is now dead. I have to publish a comic by early October. I have Halloween plans that I would like to begin piecing together. And I have dumb habits of buying comic books and building nests out of them. And then there's food, rent, etc. I've concluded that the only way to escape this existence of always being one bad week away from living under a bridge in a cardboard box is to become a hooker. Or a drug dealer perhaps. Pirate? Orion slave girl? A lawyer maybe? This is getting ridiculous.

What's pop music doing in Narnia?!

2008-06-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

We caught a late showing of Prince Caspian last night. Aside from three assjerk 20-somethings who thought they were Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot and decided to sit right behind me and periodically yank me out of the story with their live DVD commentary (I'm surprised there hasn't been an epidemic of "movie rage"--a movie theater version of road rage where paying customers snap and physically assault these idiots), I loved the movie... until one of the final scenes in which some sappy modern pop song begins playing inexplicably! In Narnia. In a story set in 1941. Okay... who thought this was a good idea? This song immediately beams you out of Narnia and into... a movie theater where most of the audience, in unison, says "whuh?". That was the reaction. How many focus groups and test screenings did this survive to somehow emerge as a sound ending to the movie? Was it tacked on at the last minute? Did Disney mandate it in fear of it not being a proper Disney product without some crappy trademark Disney pop music presence? Did they have some corporate drone in a suit and the director screaming at each other over this? They might as well have had the producer enter the scene and loudly fart on screen. If they wanted to start subtly fading the atmosphere from Narnia back into regular earth/1941 London they could have... played a pop song that would have been around in 1941. Idiot movie people.

On a side note, I'm learning through this post that this spell check doesn't recognize the word "Narnia". Baffling.

last night's dream

2008-06-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

I was standing on a sidewalk holding a cat. A man who was smoking a cigarette approached me.

Man: I'm going to have to kill that cat.

Me: Um... no. You can't.

Man: Yep. I'm killing it.

Me: I won't let you!

Man: Definitely killing the cat.

I run off, tightly holding the cat while yelling about how I won't let him kill it.

Torchwood finale upsets Hitler

2008-06-01T20:21:00.001-07:00

from failing_angel

I have to eat, you know (eBay plugging).

2008-05-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

I just posted two auctions on eBay. More is on the way. So if you're interested in a brand new Iron Man Nerf blaster or a Ghost Rider action figure, I'm your guy.

Doctor Who and religion

2008-05-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

First, there was the Klingons for Christ thing ("Christianity is a warrior's religion."). Now there's been a lot of recent talk of Doctor Who being some kind of a religious allegory.

I found this article awhile back:

Church hosts Doctor Who service

The church was used for filming an episode with a giant reaper creature

A church is to host a Doctor Who-themed communion service aimed at young people.

St Paul's Church in Grangetown, Cardiff, was once used as a filming location for the BBC Wales-produced series.

The "cafe-style" service for people in their teens and early 20s, will feature music and clips from the hit show.

One of the organisers Fr Dean Atkins, said as a saver of the world, Doctor Who was "almost a Messiah figure".

Two years ago, the Anglican church was used as a location for the Father's Day episode of the first series, in which a giant reaper creature attacked wedding guests at the church.

I love the series and it has such a great following that we couldn't resist doing something for young people on a Doctor Who theme

Parish priest Fr Ben Andrews

Fr Atkins, youth officer with the Diocese of Llandaff, said: "In the series there are lots of references to salvation and the doctor being almost immortal.

"We are using the figure of Doctor Who as a parable of Christ."

The language used in the series also lends itself to exploring the Christian faith, he said.

He added: "Christ is a kind of cosmic figure as well if you like, somebody who does not travel through time but all eternity is found in him.

"He is a kind of encapsulation of the beginning and the end, in fact he existed before time began and he will exist when time ends."

Parish priest Fr Ben Andrews said: "I love the series and it has such a great following that we couldn't resist doing something for young people on a Doctor Who theme.

"Lots of people think that young people are the future of the church.

"This kind of event will show they are part of the church of the present and have an important part to play in its future.

"We are building on the past but always looking forward."

The service takes place on 23 September at 1830 BST.

And I yoinked this one from Charles on MySpace:

The Church is Ailing - Send for Doctor Who

He has inspired devotion from a tiny band of followers, has sacrificed himself for the good of mankind and is destined to live for ever.

Now, Doctor Who has caught the attention of church leaders, who are encouraging clergy to study the science fiction series to learn about its religious parallels.

They have been urged to use examples from the programme in their sermons in an attempt to make Christianity more relevant to teenagers.

At a conference last week, vicars watched Doctor Who clips that were said to illustrate themes of resurrection, redemption and evil.

It analysed the similarities between the Doctor and Christ, and whether daleks are capable of change.

The number of under-16s attending Church of England services fell by almost 20 per cent between 2000 and 2006, but the Church believes that improving communication can reverse that trend.

Andrew Wooding, a spokesman for the Church Army, which organised the conference, said that its intention was to give vicars new ideas for conveying their message.

"There are countless examples of Christian symbolism in Doctor Who, which we can use to get across ideas that can otherwise be difficult to explain."

"Clergy shouldn't be afraid to engage with popular culture as for many young people television plays a large role in their thinking," he said.

Although an atheist, Russell T Davies, the chief writer of the current series has previously acknowledged the benefits of religion.

"I think religion is a very primal instinct within humans, a very good one, part of our imagination," he said.

While he has talked about the humanism in his work he has never admitted to putting overtly religious messages in the story-lines.

However, with sessions including titles such as "Meaningful Monsters: Daleks through the decades", the clergy looked at several episodes that could have religious meaning.

Examples highlighted for their symbolism included the Doctor ascending with angels, Rose Tyler inspired by a vision and Daleks terrorising mankind.

The TARDIS was considered to represent a Church by being an ordinary object that points to something higher while the Doctor was likened to Christ in his willingness to sacrifice himself for others.

The Rev Andrew Myers, vicar at St Aidan's in Leeds, attended the course and said that he would use Doctor Who in future sermons.

"We saw the Doctor persuaded to save a family of Pompeians in one of the most recent episodes, surely a reference to Genesis and Abraham's bargaining with God over the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah," he said.

"There are many themes relevant to spirituality, such as the Daleks as supreme embodiments of moral evil. Even the more cynical have been convinced that this immensely successful series provides a wonderful toolkit."

The Rt Rev Tony Porter, Bishop of Sherwood, said it was vital that clergy adapt to the culture around them.

"It's a great idea as Doctor Who is hugely popular and it's critical to identify with where people are."

Barry Letts, a former producer of Doctor Who, said it was right to look at the series for religious parables: "I think it's inevitable because of Britain's cultural heritage that a long-running programme about the fight between good and evil will have some Christian themes as a backdrop."

The Church of England said: "Drawing spiritual parallels with aspects of contemporary culture is meat and drink to anyone with a vocation to make the good news of the Gospel known afresh in every generation. Doctor Who is a good example.

"When you make the right external connections, the internal effect, like the inside of the TARDIS, can be much bigger."

Is Captain America's shield being built by Tony Stark in the Iron Man movie???

2008-05-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

And I thought I was about finished nerding out about this movie. Check this out!

uh... a bathroom Time Lord?

2008-05-14T09:40:00.000-07:00

(from http://www.zaniahz.com)

larger image

Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver Ultimate Bath Gift Set

$28.95

Dr Who Sonic Screwdriver bath Set, with this replica Sonic Screwdriver your child can become a bathroom Time Lord! Load the screwdriver with bath fizzers and dispense by clicking the end. Finish your Dr Who bath experience by washing with the Intergalactic Cleansing Agent. Not suitable for children under 3 years - due to small parts. Box Contents # 1 x Sonic Screwdriver # 30 x Bath fizzers # 1 x 150ml Bath/Shower Gel

I swear I'll shut up about Iron Man eventually.

2008-05-11T18:03:00.001-07:00

In case you didn't know, Iron Man has a history of alcoholism. He overcame it ages ago, but drunk Iron Man jokes never get old for some reason. Anyway, through the Shortpacked website I found a link to this auction for a customized piss-drunk Iron Man figure. I'm parking the photos of it here so I and anyone else who has such urges can refer back to them and laugh at them.

The auction also included a piece of drunk Iron Man artwork by Shortpacked artist David Willis, who doesn't mind my posting it here.

The auction's over; the final price was $152.50.

from David Willis' Shortpacked.com

2008-05-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

on the way to bed...

2008-05-11T00:12:00.000-07:00

I just fired up Yahoo messenger on my computer. My new username's criswell_was_right . Also, I found this Spider-Man/Iron Man/Hulk team-up animation; I've no idea whether it's a fan job or a sanctioned Marvel advertisement.

Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!

2008-04-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

I have six free reserved seats at an Iron Man sneak preview tomorrow night, and it's proving unbelievably hard to give them away. I've managed to lure three people in addition to myself. I'm actually having trouble even thinking of anyone I know who would want them. Am I really that much of a friendless dork?

I gloat.

2008-04-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

I went to that Iron Man costume contest/movie release party event thing and surprisingly cleaned up in the trivia contest. I was blurting out crap I didn't even know I knew. Here's a picture of all the goods I had to carry all the way home. On foot.

This was the nerdiest walk home I've had to perform since carrying home my TARDIS playset.

Anyway, they gave me two copies of the Iron Man movie adaptation by Peter David, a huge Nerf Iron Man cannon thing (which'll probably end up on eBay), a shirt, several pieces of the type of brickabrack (is there a proper spelling for that word? perhaps the spell check will enlighten me...) they always hand out like posters, stickers, buttons, and other such things that will assure onlookers that an Iron Man movie is about to be released. The items with which I am most pleased are three vintage comics--Iron Man volume 1 #7, #8, and #118--and six seats for a Tuesday night sneak preview of the movie. I don't think I even have five friends to take.

All of this Iron Man hoo-ha is making me want to roll out the opening to the 1960's cartoon.

Grammar nerd ranting; feel free to ignore.

2008-04-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

I realize I'm not perfect and freely admit that I am a little rusty on the rules of comma use, but I do flip out over certain grammatical/spelling errors, especially the mixing up of contractions/possessives like "you're"/"your", "it's"/"its", or "they're"/"their". This is possibly due in part to having a high school grammar teacher who looked quite a bit like Patrick Stewart (and had a Captain Picard-like presence even) and literally patrolled the halls listening for improper grammar, writing tickets for offenders, making them appear in Grammar Court (I think its very existence merits capitalization; and no, I'm not fabricating its existence), and imposing small fines. I never got caught, either because my grammatical skills were rather epic or because I was a nerd who rarely had the opportunity to speak to anyone. Anyway, I'm blathering on here, but I'm just offering some context before making fun of someone, a completely anonymous party. Last week on my lunch break I went to an eating establishment which shall remain unnamed (but shouldn't be hard to figure out for those who happen to be aware of current promotions that are being heavily advertised on TV with a neat Godzilla knockoff), and they had this crudely written sign displayed at the counter. Its message, although vaguely clear, is so badly written in so skillful a way, it's almost as if it's intended to be humorous or possibly written by someone with a degree in Bizarro grammar.

Take a look at that:

"REGULAR STEAK (FT.)
ONLY $5.00 (FIVE)
DOLLAR.
Fore Limited Time Only.
THANKS."

The next day said sign had been upgraded to this:

The most entertaining elements here are "Doe's not included", "Pastrmi", "Chease" (twice even!) and "Valu". Not as poetically bad as the first sign, but it's still noteworthy.

Anyway, I'm off to a comic book store to observe an Iron Man costume contest. That's where grammar snobbery gets you, kids.

Humanity is my favourite species.

2008-04-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

A man got drunk, became Darth Vader by donning a... trash bag, and went on a rampage targeting members of a... Jedi church? Seriously, keep an eye on this guy. He might be a future Darwin Award winner.

Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Fatalysia

2008-04-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

I already alluded in my blogs to Arnold Schwarzenegger's bodybuilding event that might have had an impact on SPACE's attendance. Fatalysia artist Uriel Duran kindly commemorated it with this piece, which I must admit I am posting quite late. He sent it to me shortly after SPACE, and I've had a combination of blogger's block and not having technology at my disposal that gets along with Photobucket's revamp. This is in no way a slam against anyone who attended or took part in SPACE. I just genuinely found it hilarious on some level that my life might have been inadvertently impacted by Conan the Barbarian and had this image in my head of literally being chased out the door by him.

Check out Uriel's site here:

poor Aquaman

2008-04-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

(a customer return)

Sometimes my subconscious actually scares me a little.

2008-04-21T19:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know how my brain comes up with this crap. Last night I dreamed an episode of the 80's sitcom Webster. Only Webster's dad was Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. Amin had a bunch of concubines he was preoccupied with, and Webster and his adoptive mom (or "Ma'am", as he called her on the show) sat in fold-up chairs wanting to talk to him about something but fearing he would kill them if they interrupted his antics. I awoke from this rather unsettled. I really don't want to have to worry about running into Amin if I go to sleep.

Priorities, seriously!

2008-04-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

Okay... it's nearly 1:45 a.m. on Friday night, and I just finished an email to the SciFi Channel about their schedule. That's one of those warning signs that I really should go outside and find a life, I believe.

artist Myke Amend in DC/Baltimore area this weekend

2008-03-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

If you are anywhere in the DC/Baltimore area this weekend, it is your destiny to go to HorrorFind Weekend, fork over the $25 admission fee, and behold Myke Amend and his works. When you're done with Myke, if you're into meeting people associated with zombie movies, you can meet George Romero and more Night of the Living/Dawn of the/Day of the/Land of the/Diary of the Dead-associated humans than normally possible. Myke's selling prints, buttons, magnets, and t-shirts, many of which are signed. Some of the prints are even individually enhanced to make them literally one of a kind. I hope to make it there to finally meet this guy. Is he real? I've received numerous emails from and spoken on the phone many times to someone claiming to be him. I'll perform the poke-him-with-a-stick test. Will the stick make a hole from which pudding flows? Will it get stuck in robot parts? Maybe he's really Myke's stunt double or the guy he hired to be him at birthday parties and such. Anyway... go meet Myke and buy his wares. And look at big prints of his Fatalysia #2 cover.

SPACE: Fatalysia and lots of other exhibitors photolink

2008-03-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

Uriel found this link to a collection of photos from SPACE. If you scroll down a bit, you'll see the Fatalysia table complete with me standing around with a vacant look on my face.

back from SPACE

2008-03-03T19:41:00.000-08:00

We got home from SPACE around 2 am last night. I barely got any sleep over the last few days due to one of my silly hangups: trouble sleeping in unfamiliar environments. Anyway, the con was fun although the turnout seemed low. For that, I blame this man:

Mr. Schwarzenegger was in town to host a bodybuilding convention he's been hosting in Columbus for the past 20 years (who knew?), and this year it just happened to fall on the same date as SPACE. I guess the Terminator/Conan the Barbarian trumps comics for some folks.

The trip there was a bit of an adventure, complete with a rental car with a flat tire in the snow (that we luckily discovered because I was fiending for a Wendy's burger--luckily because there was a tire fixing place right across the street from said Wendy's). On the trip home, this rental car, which was a 2007 or 2008 model that actually warns you of cold temperatures had an incomprehensible CD player that decided to start munching CDs and refusing to give them back, which meant instead of listening to music during the seven hour drive home, my girlfriend instead got to listen to me yell and rant about the last 20 years of Spider-Man continuity for most of the trip home.

In spite of the low turnout, it was a fun con with lots of nice people. I met plenty of other exhibitors and hope to maintain contact with some of them. I will post links to some of them when I'm done unpacking and sifting through what I brought home from the con. I met Dave Sim, who apparently goes every year.

I find setting up the table and displays to be particularly fun, and I took a few photos of the table, as usual. So if you're curious about what the space I spent about 16 hours of the weekend occupying looked like, you're in luck. The art prints, magnets, and t-shirts are Myke Amend's. He was planning to attend but couldn't make it, but we still got to show off his work thanks to the magic of expedited shipping. Anyway, here is how our space turned out.

SPACE this weekend in Columbus, OH

2008-02-29T10:05:00.000-08:00

I'll be at SPACE in Columbus, OH this weekend, in case you didn't believe the subject heading. Fatalysia 1 and 2 will be available (printing scheduling problems ended up with us having a black and white cover for 2; the next printing should be color) at our table, and admission is only like five dollars. My friend and issue 2 cover artist Myke Amend planned to attend but was unable; lots of prints and a few t-shirts were able to make it though, and I'll have those at the table as well. So if you're in the area, come see us.

I didn't get a chance to mention... (or "Daleks in Manhattan")

2008-02-19T08:47:00.001-08:00

I'm in New York for a couple of days for Toy Fair. I'll be back Wednesday night. If anyone here knows me or just wants to kill me, message me. Unless this Dalek does the job first.

He's in my aquarium.

2008-02-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

Myke Amend on SPACE blog

2008-02-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

The SPACE blog posted a promotional blurb for Myke Amend, who is planning to haunt a table with me there. Also posted are a couple of preview links for his series Some Ghouls Wander By Mistake, which will make its debut at SPACE on March 1-2 in Columbus, OH.

Fatalysia on official SPACE blog

2008-02-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd pass along this bit from the SPACE blog where they were kind enough to plug Fatalysia.

coherent, at last

2008-02-06T11:49:00.000-08:00

Oh. I have one of those blog things the kids are going on about. Guess I should update it.

The Christmas season sucked my soul out and left me quite disgusted with humanity and feeling like the Silver Surfer must feel. I picked a flower, climbed a mountain, answered a bunch of philosophical riddles, got beaten up, and eventually retained my soul. Well, not really. When I started getting over all that, I got sick. I am pretty much over that now.

So... I've done things. In the middle of the illness I peeled myself off the floor to see a live Birthday Massacre performance; I'm very glad I did. A friend sent me one of their albums a couple of years ago, and I've been waiting for them to be in close proximity to me (ironically a year or so ago they actually played in the small city in Kentucky where I used to reside).

I saw Cloverfield. It's one of those movies that one will likely either love or hate. I fall into the love camp. I hope Toho picks up the whole gimmick and starts a whole new era of Blair Witch-esque Gojira movies.

I saw Rambo out of habit. I'm not bothering with linking him to anything. Um. It was a Rambo movie. An injustice was pointed out, and a huge, steroid-enhanced 60-year old Sylvester Stallone was tossed at it with a Rob Liefeld gun. Lots of death. I'm baffled I spent so much of my teen years obsessing over this character (the silliness of this is compounded by the fact that I was a skinny, badly-dressed nerd who was obsessing over this character). I'm truly sorry.

I decided to attend SPACE in Columbus, Ohio March 1-2. Fatalysia #1 and #2 will be available. #3 didn't make it this time, but it'll be out soon. #2 will have a color cover this time, since Myke Amend kindly pointed me towards a service that makes color covers affordable.

I'm having issues with the Fatalysia website that will hopefully be resolved shortly. The site can be accessed here in the meantime. Speaking of which, there have been a few updates on the site, mainly in the gallery and the links page. A shop page is in the oven and will go live as soon as it's ready.

This is not so much a proper blog as it is a plea to buy my wares.

2007-12-30T16:16:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to dematerialize a little bit. I've placed an item on eBay to see what happens with it. If anyone's interested, it's a Kingdom Come Superman statue based on Alex Ross' design for that series. It has some slight wear forming on the base from age but still looks nice.

Sorry to come out of the dog house after a month or two of no blogging just to do an advertisement. Hopefully my communication skills will be themselves again shortly so that I may post a real blog.

How is everybody?

unusual craving

2007-11-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

I'm usually creeped out on holidays like Thanksgiving knowing that most of the country is eating the same thing at the same time, so I usually at least ask if pizza or burgers or something can be ordered. But this year I'm actually craving turkey, dressing, and everything else. I don't know if that means I'm just having an odd year or if it's an age thing.

in lieu of a proper blog, here's the Fatalysia table

2007-10-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

Post-SPX, my communication skills are not quite at 100%, so for those of you who couldn't make it to the con, here is an admittedly low-quality cell phone picture of the Fatalysia table from the con. The bloke on the left is Lance Hansen, author of Don't Cry, which I shall be reading shortly. Very nice guy to be next to behind a table with for several hours straight.

one more weird printer experience

2007-10-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

I thought the weirdness was over, but I had one more odd experience with a printer today. I needed a rush job on a couple of signs. I called a printer from work, and they said if I emailed them the file of the sign I needed, they could have them printed by tonight when I got off work. I emailed them the file and all the information they would need. Hours later, when I had about an hour left before I got off work, I thought to call them and get a price quote, which I'd forgotten to do earlier. It turned out they hadn't even checked their email, so they hadn't lifted a finger on my signage. The guy on the phone asked his manager if they could do it tonight before they closed, and the manager said it could be done. About 45 minutes later, someone started ringing my cell phone off the hook. It was the printer. They said their building was evacuated, and they couldn't have my prints ready tonight. They suggested I go to Kinko's. I really wasn't even sure I believed this. I drove past the place on the way home, and it turns out there was a fleet of police cars, fire trucks, ambulances, and other vehicles all over their building's perimeter. I thought this would be the first year I wouldn't have to end up crawling around at Kinko's in the middle of the night before SPX, but it was inevitable. I've already done that at this point, and the signs are finally done. And on the way home, a trolley driver abandoned her regular route and just took me straight home. Very nice.

On a hopefully unrelated note, today on my lunch break I got one extra item which brought my total to $6.66. Amidst all the other weirdness, the eternally paranoid part of my brain was waving red flags. I hope it isn't a harbinger of more crap that is destined to happen at the con itself.

I am happy to say now that the smoke has cleared and all the materials I wanted have somehow come together I am finally excited about the con rather than dreading it. And my boss and co-workers have been extremely supportive of my plight.

The Comics Journal

2007-10-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

While closing tabs, I found that I neglected to post this link to The Comics Journal's SPX preview. There's a short blurb about Fatalysia in there. Now I should go to bed before it's too late.

I should mention SPX, shouldn't I?

2007-10-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

I've had one hum dinger of a week. And yes, I am comfortable using the modifier "hum dinger" for it. SPX is Friday and Saturday of this week (12-13 October, if you keep track that way). Anyway. If nothing else goes wrong, hopefully, possibly, issue two of Fatalysia will be available at the Fatalysia/Primeval Works table-H9A (which will be close to Jefff Smith of Bone and Shazam/Captain Marvel fame). Anyway, much printer drama has ensued, and thanks to some damage control by Chris, when the smoke clears I might actually have comics. I should also mention that Chris will not be able to attend the con as planned, so you're just getting me. One of these days, hopefully artist Uriel Duran will make it. Back to printing issues (can you tell I'm kind of scatter-brained about the whole thing?), the first proof I saw had the pages out of order in spite of the fact that they were paginated in advance (I think the wrong pages were printed on the wrong sides of the sheets or something), and I was so busy freaking out about that I failed to notice that the text/dialogue had disappeared from about half of the book. In the end I had to cancel the print job and move it somewhere closer to Chris so he could use his graphic design Jedi skills to better shepherd the whole dealie. Then a backdrop print of the cover illustration ended up being a big silly with me receiving a lovely poster of a bee hovering over a flower rather than the spooky scarecrow I kind of needed (Myke Amend, the designer of the lovely cover posted a nice, more coherant than I can manage at the moment account of these events here). Anyway, I might have to sleep with a printer or something to get the poster printed if the original printer is unable to fix the poster situation in time. Every year I go to SPX some kind of bizarre printing issue comes up, but I've never seen anything like this year's crazy. Anyway. Issues one and two should be available if some Asgardian war doesn't spill out of the heavens into the DC metropolitan area or something else along those lines (jeez, I can't even tell if I'm making sense anymore I'm so frazzled). If you can't make it to the con, they're also available from the website or by contacting me (although issue 2 will likely have to go to a second printing after the con, as we weren't able to get many). And nice prints of a color version of the cover as well as many other curiosities are available from Myke Amend's website. And here's a promotional version of his cover art.

Fatalysia #2
Script: Liam Kemp
Art: Uriel Duran, a.k.a. U
Cover: Myke Amend
Book Design/Lettering: Chris Tabor

Loretta King and other Ed Wood-related things

2007-10-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

Loretta King died 10 September at age 90. She is probably best remembered for getting a role intended for Dolores Fuller in Ed Wood's Bride of the Monster.

While on the subject of Ed Wood, I was sent a link to a Vampira site, Vampira's Attic as well as a link to an article on Bunny Breckenridge, both of Plan 9 From Outer Space fame.

Doctor Poo

2007-10-09T18:41:00.001-07:00

We went to a Renaissance Festival this weekend, so I used it as an excuse to dress like Tom Baker in 90 degree weather. Here's the Doctor Who costume (a portable toilet is as close as I'll likely come to having a Tardis, so...). I realized along the way my friend there kind of reminds me of Leela.

another wasted opportunity

2007-10-09T18:07:00.001-07:00

I had a lucid dream last night. And once again, all I did was command the nearest person to turn into Chasey Lain. That's it. This time, I got a dumb Sci-Fi Channel low budget morphing effect.

Fatalysia #2 at printer

2007-10-03T20:51:00.000-07:00

As stated in the heading, the second issue of Fatalysia went to the printer today. I should have it on hand late next week, just in time for the Small Press Expo. It has a new story illustrated by Uriel a.k.a. U!, a beautiful guest cover by Myke Amend, and guest illustrations by Chad Thomas and Maritza Campos. There will be a bit of an update at the Fatalysia site on SPX weekend. Lovely color prints of the cover illustration can be purchased on Myke Amend's website. I'll hopefully post more closer to the convention.

Iron Man and Dark Knight images

2007-09-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

For those interested, I found some screen cap images from the Iron Man movie trailer.

While I'm at it, here are some from The Dark Knight.

because I can't wait until Halloween to look like a jackhole

2007-08-28T20:39:00.000-07:00

If anybody cares, here are a few pictures of the current status of my Doctor Who costume. I still need to find a decent vest and wig, but I'm almost there. At this point, I look kind of like the Eighth Doctor in a Fourth Doctor costume.

I used to love Halloween so much that I eventually kept my apartment decorated for Halloween all year long. Somewhere in there I burned out on it, and I didn't get into Halloween for a couple of years or so. Then last year, I started to feel it again at the last minute and bought a Space Ghost costume. I wore it to work but removed it (and changed into other clothes, of course) after almost getting killed because of it like five minutes later. Makes one wonder how superheroes pull it off when their vision's so bad if they're wearing hoods. And how do they keep from tripping over their capes? But anyway, here's my costume thus far.

drugs and their vocal canine objectors

2007-08-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else find it ironic that a PSA that just aired depicted a dog verbally requesting that his owner, a young marijuana-afflicted lass named Lindsay (okay, that's ironic too), cut out the drugs? Talking dogs (and that's live action talking dogs, not cartoony ones)? Drugs? What's the message? Weed makes one believe the dog is talking? Or is the ad just trying to be cute? Like, even your dog wants you to knock off your drug using ways? TV's stupid.

Anyway. Time for go to bed.

grrr...

2007-08-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

<>Smegging Photobucket. They're apparently allowing little banner ads to float right over the "submit" button where you need to click to upload new pictures from your hard drive. What's next, injecting advertising straight into my eyeballs with a needle?

fair

2007-08-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend unit and I went to the fair today and saw lots of goats, sheep, chickens, and fancy bunnies. We also ran across some kind of toilet art craft fair, which, given my juvenile sense of humor, I of course found interesting. Some of my favourites:

On the way home, we made some stops and not only found some vital components for my Doctor Who costume, but we also found a reissued Mego Captain Kirk figure, so that void no longer exists in my collection. And, being a Mego, his shirt can be removed, of course, so that he can properly harass all those female figures on my shelves.

miscellany

2007-08-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

This is a lot of random nonsense, but whatever.

*I admit to feeling a little dirty for coincidentally having the TV on the SciFi Channel every Wednesday night when Stan Lee's series Who Wants To Be A Super Hero? happens to be on, but this week, I saw the show sink to a new low when it very literally turned into an Esurance advertisement.

*The other night I had the dumbest dream ever. I dreamed Mickey the Idiot from Doctor Who was brushing his teeth. He brushed them one at a time, and each tooth folded outwards a bit as he brushed it. He folded each tooth back inwards as he finished brushing it. Gross stuff.

*I can't even seem to sit still for the second episode of SciFi's new Flash Gordon series.

And here are some tasteless pictures my friend Lizzy found on eatliver.com:

where I've been

2007-07-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick update on things that have gone on while I wasn't in the mood for blogging:

Kit and I went to New York for MOCCA. I got to meet people like Evan Dorkin, Sarah Dyer, and Alison Bechdel. I also met online aquaintances such as Dean Trippe, Liz Greenfield, some people who are putting together Comic Foundry, and some representatives of Wizard Magazine's Secret Stash column, which focuses on independant creators.

We also visited the MOCCA museum and saw its Stan Lee exhibit. We did lots of running around the city too, of course. Some of this is documented in pictures posted on my Myspace home. Kit posted a lot more about the trip on her blog.

I was visited by my sister and father for a few days. My sister wanted to see lots of touristy things, while my dad really didn't.

I'm receiving lots of artwork for the second issue of Fatalysia. It's going to look really nice. Some of the art is posted on Uriel's Comicspace page.

I've seen several movies lately. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer was pretty bad. They nailed the same one or two things they nailed in the first movie (mainly the Thing and the Human Torch) and made all the bad things a lot worse (Doctor Doom being the most offensive thing in it. It was like they put armor on Gene Hackman's Lex Luthor). The Silver Surfer was well done though. Transformers had great effects but too many storylines and too much going on on the screen. I enjoyed the latest Harry Potter movie, but talking with fans of the books (which I need to begin reading already) reveals that there are very important story elements that haven't been worked into like the last three movies. I appreciated Sicko.

The other night, we went to one of those live sing-a-longs for the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode Once More With Feeling. The organizers said the DC showings sold out faster than anywhere else. It was fun. "A less slutty Rocky Horror", as someone put it. They're doing it again in October.

Kit's home. She probably wants her computer back.

old house

2007-07-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

I dreamed my parents, sister, and I moved into a rickety old house in the middle of nowhere. I think we were an hour or so from the town in which I grew up. The house was falling apart and still had lots of furniture and other belongings from the previous residents, but it was a very interesting place. My room was huge. It had a place to cook, two beds (one of them was a fancy bed with a canopy), and a place for computer work, etc. There were cabinets with turntables inside them (much like one my childhood home had, only much bigger), and there were lots of glass mugs and such left by the previous residents. It was like a huge apartment all to myself. I panicked when I realized how far we were from civilization and how I couldn't just walk out to a grocery or convenience store to buy snacks, etc. on a whim.

couple of noteworthy news stories

2007-07-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

DC robbery foiled by kindness, ends in hugs.

Wal-Mart is to begin carrying biblical action figures.

And here's a nice Evan Dorkin rant yoinked from Kit.

silly meme; just parking it here to keep up with it

2007-07-22T20:56:00.000-07:00

You scored as 9th Doctor, Running from the past but deadly when faced with it, you wear leather jackets and will fight to the end.

9th Doctor

92%

1st Doctor

83%

a Dalek

58%

7th Doctor

58%

3rd doctor

50%

5th Doctor

50%

6th doctor

42%

2nd doctor

33%

4th Doctor

33%

Davros

17%

8th Doctor

17%

10th Doctor

What Doctor Who character are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Well then--I finally remembered a dream.

2007-07-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

In said dream, Kit and I were travelling in a subway tain that cut straight through buildings. It seemed to be some kind of tour train. The train stopped frequently, sometimes inside buildings, other times poking out the sides of them into alleys, and we had a tour guide-like person pointing things out to us and the other passengers. We stopped inside a building that had a few stores; I noticed a merchant selling Crow T. Robot (from Mystery Science Theatre 3000) kits. One was on display. He was full sized, he moved and talked (his voice was a little off though), but he was incomplete. I believe he was missing his arms and part of his head. I tried to think of a way to convince Kit to sanction me spending money on such a thing. I decided against it, and we boarded the train. We stopped again in an alley with the train resting on a stone winding staircase. The location felt like New York City's Chinatown (which is fresh in my memory since I was just there), but there was nothing specifically Chinatowny about it. Against the wall of a building in the alley was a stove. There was a pot with some kind of soup boiling within. A live, decent sized turtle swam in it. Other turtes walked on the top of the stove. I picked one up, and his shell was soft. I was alarmed. I replaced him, and we got back on the train.

SPX confirmation!

2007-05-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

I found out today that I got my table at this year's Small Press Expo!
Therefore, here's a celebratory hedgehog.

Small Press Expo website

Iron Man and the Joker

2007-05-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

Publicity shots have been released of Iron Man from his movie and the Joker from The Dark Knight!

Mr. Scott eBay store

2007-05-19T20:08:00.001-07:00

The family of James Doohan, Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott from Star Trek, has an eBay store that is selling some of his memorabilia. Some of it is quite affordable. Dilithium crystals that were actually used in episodes are being sold, some at very low prices. Among other items posted are Mr. Scott autographed action figures in the $30 range.

scifiproducts

bootlegs

2007-05-19T17:11:00.000-07:00

I've been a negligent blogger lately. Leave it to something dumb to snap me out of writer's block. I've got a lot of public high-pitched nerdy whining to do about a recent action figure purchase that was so shoddy I felt slighted by the manufacturer, but I'll get to that in an upcoming post. The whole thing got me thinking that I am perfectly capable of documenting toy news/opinions, so if that's where I am right now, sad as it might be, that's what I'll mostly do with my blog for the time being. Worst thing that could happen is somebody might hear me and offer me a job scribbling this crap down for money. So if you like toys, great. If you don't, well, I'm sure I'll post other things here as well. I'll do my complainy post later. This time, I'm sharing something I happened upon today that relieved me of $1.25. Hideous bootleg figures! I rarely see this sort of thing actually on the shelves in American stores. This set was found in an independently-owned store that sold cheap odds and ends.

These aren't licensed Spider-Man figures--they're fakes. The packaging bears the title "Hero Household". It has images from the first Batman movie (as well as the fourth one that killed the franchise for several years), some Spider-Man art, and what appear to be Power Rangers. The middle Spider-fake figure is actually decapitated in the packaging. Each figure has a little red light implanted in his chest that lights up. And each has a painted spider running up the side of his crotch. Right before finding this item, I was in a rather foul mood due to a guy bumping into me so hard he broke my sunglasses while I was winding down from a futile expedition to find a trenchcoat worthy of inclusion in my Halloween Doctor Who outfit in a Goodwill store. I went from angry to pretty happy.

things I witnessed at Toy Fair

2007-03-28T16:09:00.000-07:00

There exists an Elvis chess set. I don't need it, but a kind impersonator was willing to let me photograph him.

I saw a life-sized Batman constructed of Lego blocks. I don't know if he was commercially available or if he was just a display piece. I imagine it was the latter.

I got to play with a Tardis playset.

Spider-Man was there plugging his children's books.

And shortly after returning to work, we began receiving topless Little Mermaid figures. I'm affectionately referring to her as "Party Ariel".

an admittedly disjointed update

2007-03-28T15:04:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in a while, due to the lingering specter of writer's block, but here's something.

-I saw TMNT today. I loved it, actually. I didn't realize it was possible to make a Turtles movie this nice.
-I saw 300 a couple of weeks back. I liked it overall; it was a fair representation of the comic and nicely costumed, if not poorly timed, what with the emperor's eyeballing of Iran. The movie, like the comic, was a typical Frank Miller testosterone trip of two hours or so.
-I had a mild argument with an elderly customer about the fact that book stores actually do have some books that are shrink-wrapped, and if one is opened to check content with no sample available, no one will want to purchase the opened one, and it will be considered damaged, making it unreturnable by the retailer. It was the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard in her long life, she tells me. I failed to convince her that other stores also are saddled with such books.
-I read Grant Morrison's entire X-Men run in one big gulp thanks to Marvel's Omnibus edition. Wow.
-I went to Toy Fair in New York. My head exploded.
-I found a copy of Mitchell on DVD. I figured if it was out there, it was destiny, so it's on the shelf now.
-I found a DVD containing the first several episodes of the first anime I ever encountered as a child, Starblazers.
-I've been looking for publishers for my comic and discovering that the pamphlet/magazine format of comics really is losing ground to trade collections and online comics.
-Still haven't bothered doing my taxes.
-Getting paperwork ready for this year's Small Press Expo.
-I've been approving lovely thumbnails for Fatalysia #2.
-My dream recollection has almost completely abandoned me for now.
-I've decided to become the Tom Baker incarnation of Doctor Who by Halloween this year. I bought a sonic screwdriver and a nifty remote controlled K-9.
-Come to think of it, I'm going through a silly period of nostalgic Doctor Who obsession. So here are some pictures sent to me today by my friend and cover artist Chris of some old Doctor Who Mego toys from the 70's.

Captain America publicity stunt

2007-03-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

Captain America dead? Whatever. Somebody will impersonate him for a while, then he'll return with a mullet and a new attitude just like Superman did when they pulled this crap with him. I guess Marvel will probably write it better though.

Dream: unlikely phone call

2007-02-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

I dreamed Snoop Dog called my cell phone and thanked me for the comics I sent him. He sounded like an ordinary guy. I didn't remember sending him any comics, but I was glad he enjoyed them.

Dream: demonic lineage

2007-02-17T10:26:00.000-08:00

I dreamed I was in the bathroom looking into the mirror. I moved my face really close to it and found that when my face was really close, I could see my back. I saw a long, wiry black hair growing on my back. I plucked it out with some tweezers. Then I saw feathers growing from my back. I pulled them out as well. I looked at my feet and saw that pieces of bamboo were growing from my feet. I pulled them out. I showed the feathers and bamboo to my mother. She told me that she hoped she would never have to tell me, but she used to know a demon before she got married, and he was my real father. This was disturbing.

NY

2007-02-09T18:07:00.000-08:00

I'll be in Manhattan on business Sunday night and most of Monday, so if anyone there I happen to know wants to meet up at some point, contact me over the next couple of days.

a news story and a complaint

2007-02-07T12:39:00.000-08:00

First, the news:

"Nobody tells this Wookie what to do."

And the complaint:

Joel Schumacher, the butcher who destroyed the Batman franchise, has the nerve to publicly declare he thinks he's the right guy to make a movie adaptation of Neil Gaiman's Sandman.